Jerry Sandunsky"s victims have had their day in court. The man that stole their childhood is behind bars and will never come out. Not breathing anyway. Now they will have the opportunity to sue for punitive damages due them, and once again have to endure the gauntlet of speculation and examination that comes with web of the judicial system. Make no mistake, this story is not going away for a while yet to come.
With the spotlight cast on coaches who abuse their players, I've dug for any info that's been collected on the warning signs of coach-based abuse. There are basically 3 categories of abuse children face. Physical, emotional. and sexual.
Physical abuse SHOULD be the easiest to identify Physical abuse is most often accompanied with visual injuries on the victim. Bruising and cuts can of course be the result of typical accidents children encounter while growing accustomed to their ever changing bodies. However, when a child has repeated similar injuries, as if there is a pattern emerging, it should be looked into to. A reasonable, thoughtful adult, should be able to tell the difference between incidental injuries, and purposeful malicious injuries.
Emotional abuse is by it's nature harder to identify. There are not physical signs to point the way. A familiarity with the child's normal behavior is required. If the child suddenly becomes withdrawn or their is changes in school performance these can be indicator's of a problem. Sometimes victim's of abuse will become overly worried, constantly looking for some bad thing to happen. Another sign of possible abuse can be if a child shows up to activities early, stays late, and generally doesn't want to go home. Take any attempt by a child trying to avoid their parent's on a constant basis serious.
Sexual abuse is really the culmination of emotional psychological abuse coupled with a physical act. while any abuse can b terribly harmful. sexual abuse is the most heinous in my eyes. The following excerpt is a very good overview of signs and symptoms of sexual abuse.
- Social or geographic isolation of family (incest)
- Daughter/mother role-reversal (incest)
- Father doting/lavishing gifts on select child (incest)
- Children forced into parental roles (incest)
- Sexually-transmitted disease
- Unexplained pregnancies
- Bruising/bleeding in rectal, thigh, and/or genital areas
- Complaints of stomach and abdominal pain
- Evidence of regressive bedwetting, incontinence, etc
- Recurrent urinary tract infections
- Yeast infections
- Drastic weight loss/gain
- Evidence of purging food
- Foul oders emanating from genitalia
- Vaginal or penile discharge
- Lubricant residue
- Persistent sore throat
- Radical change of appearance
- Signs of exhaustion/lack of sleep
- Possession of unexplained gifts or money
- Signs of intoxication after spending time w/adult or older adolescent
Possible Behaviorial Signs of Sexual Abuse
- Sexually-precocious or attempts to mask seductive behavior
- Hides secondary sexual characteristics
- Attempts to be unattractive
- Abnormal sexual knowledge
- Radical mood swings
- Sense of danger where he/she lives
- Change in eating habits (bulimia, anorexia, or compulsive eating)
- Inappropriately seductive
- Apparent boredom w/age peers and age appropriate activities
- Nightmares, insomnia, sleepwalking and other sleep disturbances
- Radical change in school performance for better or worse
- Fearful about certain people
- Over achievement
- Depression, crying episodes, etc.
- Substance abuse/addiction
- Expression of "damaged goods" syndrome
- Angry, hostile or aggressive behavior
- Fear of adult or adolescent
- Fear of being photographed
- Anxiety reaction to authority figures
- Fear of undressing or refusal to undress in gym class
- Pseudo-mature/overly-compliant or accommodating
- Regressive, babyish behavior
- Intense efforts to gain attention/affection from adults
- Spending inordinate amounts of time in game rooms, arcades. etc
- Recruiting other children to become involved with an adult
- Suicidal thinking, gestures, and attempts
- Hints regarding sexual behavior
- Fear of nurturing/withdrawal/impaired ability to trust
- Self-mutalative behavior
- Find reasons to not go home (helping teachers, etc.)
- Neurological and verbal expressive delays
- Killing/torturing domestic animals
- Self-hatred
- Memory loss
- Runaway
- Fear of the dark
- Find reasons to not be with someone they used to spend time with (or any change of behavior toward a friend or family member)
- Unable to concentrate, daydreaming, 'spacing out', 'in a world of their own'
- Withdrawn, isolated, or excessively worried
- Excessive or early masterbation
- Starts sucking thumb or fingers (toddlers and young children) I know this one, because that's what I started doing when my father started abusing me. My mom couldn't figure out why I suddenly started sucking my thumb as a toddler. I still haven't stopped. It's my security blanket, it relaxes me. - D
- Becomes a perpetrator, targeting a child, sibling, or friend
- Fear of parent leaving her. (My daughter begged me not to go, even when her dad was here at home.) -D
- Inappropriate kissing in young children. (When kissing my children goodnight, the kiss from them was prolonged and seemed passionate.) -D
- Nervous or fearful around adults, in particular, men. -D
- Not wanting someone, including a parent, to change his/her diaper or give him/her a bath. -D
- Imaginary friend(s) -D
- The one major sign of sexual abuse we've encountered is bowel movement accidents in older toilet trained children."
